There was a time in my life when I was allowed to have some personal dignity. That time ended the day I went into labor and people started wandering into the delivery room and feeling me up with impunity. So Jessica and I are waiting for one of those damned D.C. subways, and it arrives,…
Category: Travels with Jessica
On listening to Jessica
On our first day in D.C., I ask Jessica what she’d like to do and she immediately says she would like to see the White House, so we walk over to the concierge at our hotel and he gets out a colorful map and shows in very clear steps how to get there. “Maybe you…
On why I hate D.C. subways
I am standing on a subway platform in Washington, D.C., and trying to figure out how, exactly, to get to the line I want to get to, and Jessica is vibrating with anxiety next to me. “Do you know what you’re doing?” “Does it look like I know what I’m doing?” “Are we lost?” She…
On how Jessica negotiates
“A practice trip,” I say to Jessica. “You think we need a practice trip before we decide about going to Italy.” Jessica loves to travel, and she spots a possibility for getting two trips instead of one. I don’t like to say she’s devious and manipulative, because I don’t think she actually knows how to…
On practicing
“So are we going to Italy?” Jessica asks. “You said you would think about it.” “I am thinking about it. But it seems like it could be really hard.” “What will be hard about it?” “Well, I don’t speak the language.” “Mom. Sharon went to Italy and she doesn’t speak Italian.” Yes, but she does…
On Italian translations
“Jessica wants to go to Italy for vacation,” I tell my friend Mary. “Italy?” “I know. Maybe I can talk her into Key West or something.” “You would love Italy. Italians are brusque but friendly.” “Um, okay,” I say. Then: “Oh. You mean like me.” “Exactly. You will fit right in.” “Except I don’t speak…