Misha, great insights. I agree with making characters too perfect–they don’t seem real. A character with flaws, especially if they admit their flaws, can be perfectly engaging.
Yes, “klutzy” seems to be a default “flaw” for heroines (never heroes!) I do get tired of incompetent heroines as well. I always figure they need to work on their ability to look after themselves first. Otherwise the “love” always has a taint of “I’m with you because otherwise I can’t cope with the real world” (to me, anyway).