Oops, I’m late to the party! Didn’t realize it had started. Great comments, everyone. My notes reveal the same problems you’ve already noted: head hopping within scenes, larger shifts in POV that pulled me out of the story, “telling” for long passages rather than “showing,” careless word choice (Kya using the word “artifact” before she would’ve known what it meant, p. 84), cultural stereotypes galore. I also felt many scenes were weak, such as the one on p. 187 when Kya bumped into Chase’s parents on the sidewalk. It could have been tense and emotional, but I found it flat. Nothing happened. No character development. No plot development.
I used to visit the Outer Banks of NC and was interested in reading about that setting. I think the accents probably are accurate; that region has been isolated for centuries so people have a unique regional accent, dating back to English settlement. And it doesn’t sound like the stereotypical Southern accent beloved of TV characters. Like you all, I’m puzzled by the book’s long popularity; perhaps it is the setting, and a bit of a Gothic element. But where was the editor???