On things I never used to know
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On growing up
In September, Jessica announced that she was moving in with her father. I have been her main caretaker since, well, her entire life, so as you can imagine my immediate response was WHAT THE HELL???? She dropped this on me the day I picked her up from school after she’d had her monthly visitation with…
On what life teaches us
A friend of mine has been diagnosed with one of those diseases that could kill him in a month or it might hold off for a while. Understandably he has been thrown by this, the uncertainty as much as the diagnosis. How do you live when you know the end is coming, but you don’t…
On Douglas the Dragon
We are at a shop, ducking in out of the rain, when Jessica spots a beautiful stuffed dragon that looks exactly like Douglas, except it is red and has gold wings. Douglas is turquoise with silver wings, and Jessica puts him beside me everyone morning so he can help me do my work. “There is…
On reading Tolkien
Jessica and I are reading the Lord of the Rings series. A couple of months ago, looking for something to do on a weekend, I asked if she would like to watch the movies. “I do not know,” she said. “Okay,” I said. “How about we watch the first one and if you don’t like…
On Halloween decorations
This is a Halloween essay from 2011. This weekend, at Jessica’s behest, we decorated the house for Halloween. Now, at your house, Halloween may be all black and orange and eerie music, but at our house, it is quite pink and sparkly. The witch’s broom glitters, and the pumpkin has a cheerful smile, and…
A vigil for Jessica
Jessica is scheduled for a procedure in the morning. Routine, in its way, but nothing is ever routine with her anymore. If it ever was. You used to think it would get easier. But it doesn’t. You get understanding, yes, and you know what to do and where to stand, and you long ago made…