Conversations with Jessica, illustrated
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Bad words, revisited
So Jessica comes home to tell me about a new student who is learning boundaries. Me: Tell your teacher if he’s too much of an ass. Jessica: I will, except I won’t call him an a-s-s. Me: Probably wise. Jessica: Did you use bad language at school? Me: Not in front of anyone who would…
On how I really do like people
“So,” Jessica’s dad says as I pick up her meds and medical equipment from him. “How was the conference?” I’ve been out of town for a business meeting and he is being his usual polite self. Even at the height of our discord, when I had the butcher knife in my hand and insanity in…
On how I shine
“Your hair sparkles in the sun,” Jessica says as we walk along Massachusetts Street on a bright winter afternoon. I would like to believe this is because of how bouncy and shiny my hair is but I know she’s noticing all the silver in it. “It is like you sprinkled it with glitter.” Considering the…
Spelling Test
Jessica: Is it L-A-B-O-R? For “labor”? Me: Yes. Unless you’re British, and then— Jessica: I’m not. Thank you. Me: Okay. Jessica: Sometimes it is better to stop you before you get started. ### My collection of travel stories, Travels with Jessica, is now available! Kindle and paperback here; other ebook formats here. And I’ve published…
Conversations with Jessica
Jessica: What are you doing? Me: Getting a ream of paper out of the closet. Jessica: What is a ream of paper? Me: A package of 500 sheets of paper. Although at one time a ream was 480 pages. You see— Jessica (trying to distract me): What’s for dinner? Me: And you know what else?…
On visiting the eye doctor
Picking Jessica up from school: Jessica: Why are you wearing sunglasses? Me: Eye doctor today. He put drops in. You know, to dilate my pupils. So now the sun hurts my eyes. Jessica: Did you sit still for the eye drops? Me: Yes, I did. Jessica: Did you cry? Or whine? Me: No, I sucked…