On things I never used to know
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On teaching life lessons
We’re watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I’m explaining to Jessica that a vampire can’t come into a person’s house unless he or she is invited in. “Of course there’s no such thing as vampires. And in some stories about vampires, that’s not true,” I say, in the interests for providing full disclosure. “But it…
On things you’d think I would know by now
Jessica is opening her Christmas presents. Some of them are things she picked out for herself that I’ve wrapped and put under the tree. She pulls the paper back from a book and asks, perplexed, “Am I supposed to be surprised by this?” She can’t remember what she has picked out and what she hasn’t….
Travels with Jessica
Jessica is in many ways an amazing child, but her brain does not have an executive function, or if it does, it’s like one of my former bosses, out on a three-martini lunch most days. She cannot intuit or deduct but she can memorize and extrapolate. Which means that I have to do all the…
After the fireflies
We are sitting on the porch, Jessica and I, watching the fireflies. We do this every summer night, poignant for me, a happy tradition for her. Last year, at this time, the neurosurgeon was telling us about an unexpected finding on Jessica’s MRI and proposing what sounded to me then, and still does, like a…
A vigil for Jessica
Jessica is scheduled for a procedure in the morning. Routine, in its way, but nothing is ever routine with her anymore. If it ever was. You used to think it would get easier. But it doesn’t. You get understanding, yes, and you know what to do and where to stand, and you long ago made…
On growing up
In September, Jessica announced that she was moving in with her father. I have been her main caretaker since, well, her entire life, so as you can imagine my immediate response was WHAT THE HELL???? She dropped this on me the day I picked her up from school after she’d had her monthly visitation with…