Things I wish I’d known before moving to LA

1. Rental scooters. Hipsters, stop running down little old ladies on the sidewalk, FFS.
2. Dog poop.
3. No matter how hard I try, my hair always looks like Lori Loughlin’s, and god knows this is not what I want.
4. That dude in the Atlas Shrugged T-shirt.
5. No one wears jeans, not even after you FINALLY find a pair that fits right and you don’t hate.
6. No matter how often you wash your car, it looks like you need to wash your car.
7. Tourist buses. Really, there’s no need to stare. I’m just bringing home groceries. It’s not that exotic.

A few of my favorite things

LESSONS IN MAGIC
A CERTAIN KIND OF MAGIC
THE IMPROBABLE ADVENTURES OF A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN
DOJO WISDOM FOR WRITERS